Monday, September 26, 2011

"The Devil Went Down to Georgia" by the Charlie Daniels Band

I thought this was the coolest song when I was nine years old. But when they came out with "Legend of Wooley Swamp", I thought that was even cooler.

Original lyrics:
The devil bowed his head because he knew that he'd been beat.
He laid that golden fiddle on the ground at Johnny's feet.
Johnny said: "Devil just come on back if you ever want to try again.
"I told you once, you son of a bitch, I'm the best that's ever been."


Lewd lyrics:
The devil gave good head because he knew that he'd been beat.
And he let that seed spill on the ground at Johnny's feet.
Johnny said: "Devil just come on back if you ever want to blow again.
"I told you once, you son of a bitch, I'm the best that's ever been."


Yeah, that's right. Instead of a fiddle of gold, the devil bets Johnny a blowjob! And then he spills the seed against God's wishes, just like Onan (except Onan was banging his dead brother's wife, not giving another dude a hummer).


Wednesday, September 21, 2011

"Closing Time" by Semisonic

I really liked this band -- I was a fan of Dan Wilson and John Munson when they were in Trip Shakespeare 20 years ago, too. While I'm glad "Closing Time" made some money for them (btw, check out drummer Jacob Schlichter's book about the music business, So You Wanna Be a Rock & Roll Star), eventually it shifted into the category of "overplayed." And when a song gets too much airplay, my mind starts to twist the words a bit...

Original lyrics:
I know who I want to take me home
I know who I want to take me home
I know who I want to take me home

Lewd lyrics:
I know who I want to take my hose
I know who I want to take my hose
I know who I want to take my hose

What I like about the new lyrics is that they don't change the meaning of the song one bit. They just make it a little more direct.