Friday, December 24, 2010

"Last Christmas" by Wham and too many others

I hate Christmas music. I even considered doing a "12 Days of Lewd Lyrics", but this year you'll have to settle for just one. "Last Christmas" has got to be among the worst of the worst; even my mother hates it.

Original lyrics:
Last Christmas I gave you my heart
The very next day you gave it away

Lewd lyrics:
Last Christmas I gave you my heart
The very next day you said you were gay

When I wrote those lewd lyrics, I had forgotten that this song was originally by Wham. That may make these lyrics funnier, I'm not sure. What I do know is that even my naive, suburban, adolescent gaydar was shrieking when I first saw George Michael. I still can't believe so many people were surprised when he came out -- or when he got busted cruising that park restroom; I can't remember which came first. Anyway, I came up with this while listening to one of the many female covers of this song, so the idea was that this girl had given her heart to a guy whose interests lay elsewhere. A guy like George Michael. Yes, that makes these lyrics much funnier.

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