Monday, November 1, 2010

"Sad Songs (Say So Much)" by Elton John

This was one of Elton John's last good songs, back when he was still somewhat relevant. The album, Breaking Hearts, isn't as good as its predecessor Too Low For Zero, but it beats the Hell out of that Princess Diana tribute song.

Original lyrics:
Turn them on, turn them on
Turn on those sad songs
When all hope is gone
Why don't you tune in and turn them on


They reach into your room
Just feel their gentle touch
When all hope is gone
Sad songs say so much


Lewd lyrics:
Pull them out, pull them out
Pull out those big shlongs
When all hope is gone
Why don't you pull out that big shlong

They reach into your room
Just feel your genitals touch
When all hope is gone
Big shlongs say so much

Okay, I'll confess that this rewrite has a lot to do with John's homosexuality. And while I'm not gay, I do enjoy the thought of Elton belting out this paean to well-endowed studs.

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